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Today's Growth Quote: "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." - Viktor E. Frankl

Some days, I feel like I’m overrun by “stuff.” Incredible loads of “stuff.” “Stuff” that we probably don’t need, definitely don’t want, and have way too much of.

I think that a big factor in why we have accumulated so much is that I have operated from a scarcity mentality since our marriage. In our first two years of marriage, we were strapped for cash. I was in college, Mr. Sim was still in an entry level position, we owed money on our car, had student loan debt out the wazzoo, and were barely scraping by. Our food budget was literally $20-$25 A WEEK. I saved up for nearly a month to be able to afford a small bottle of buffalo sauce because I was craving it.

Needless to say, I was on the lookout for free everything. We were fortunate to have received a bed and mattress for our wedding present, or we would have been sharing Mr. Sim’s twin indefinitely. We got a free couch from a friend, and there was no way we were going to be buying clothing or decorations anytime soon.

I think when you are living under the poverty line, your instincts kick in to make you a hoarder in a sense. I didn’t throw anything away, because I had no idea when I’d be able to afford to buy another one if I needed it. If someone offered me a pair of shoes that I didn’t even like, I’d take them because I’d need them if my other shoes wore out. There’s a mental load there that is incalculable. We were trying to survive.

However, I feel as though we are at a turning point in our lives and in our family. We are shoveling around half of our income towards debt, and we plan to continue shoveling half of our income into investments once we finally hit that debt free milestone. We still make a small income, but we also are at a point in our lives where we know that we can slow down on debt payments or investments if a need arises. While I know this logically, it is still a huge mental shift in how I view the “stuff” in our lives.

Brad Barrett from the podcast ChooseFI coined a term called “valuist.” In one episode, the hosts were discussing the differences between a reluctant frugalist and an aspiring minimalist. (See link below to access the episode). While a frugalist works from a scarcity mindset and will hold onto a gadget that they haven’t used in years because they might possibly use it in the years to come, a minimalist will donate, sell, or throw out a gadget that they haven’t used because it is taking up mental and physical space with the understanding they can always get another in the future if needed. Brad came to the conclusion that he didn’t actually feel that he fit into either of those categories. He labelled himself a valuist. Someone who doesn’t mind holding onto something that brings him some sort of value and is willing to spend a larger price tag on that item.

This mindset really resonated with me. I could see how I am wasting my mental energy and physical energy with organizing and cleaning so much stuff that doesn’t even bring me value. For example, we have been blessed with oodles of hand-me-down clothes and shoes for our children. I have spent countless hours sorting the clothing into bins by size and gender, and we literally have at least 20 boxes with clothing for newborn boys and newborn girls, 0-3 month boys and 0-3 month girls, etc., all the way up to 6-7 boys and 6-7 girls. I’ve held on to all of these clothes despite the amount of space they take up because when we first started having children, I couldn’t see how we could clothe them well on our incomes. Our youngest, Minionette #2, is wearing clothes that are in all likelihood 10 years old and have been worn by at least 3 other little girls. Don’t get me wrong; there’s something to be said for recycling and finding great deals or even free clothes. But it took me years to realize that the clothes she is wearing are not “free.” They cost space, hours of sorting, extra washing cycles for when we received the clothes and pulled them out of storage, and even more time to check for major stains and rips.

I guess the point that I’m trying to make is that I want to start giving myself permission to let the “stuff” in our life go. I want to slowly but surely make the space in my life for things that I value and to be able to donate anything that I no longer value. It is so difficult to shift from a scarcity mindset to an abundance mindset. And it’s not lost on me that it’s also a privilege. Not everyone is able to think and work this way due to financial constraints. I’m very thankful for being at this point in our lives.

From now on, I’m going to declare every Thursday to be a “Throwaway Thursday.” I may throw some things away, donate others, and gift the rest to someone I know who may need them. I will choose at least 10 things from our home each week. This week, my kids decided to start us off by finding 10 things in their rooms for a total of 20 items! In doing this project, I hope to ease ourselves into this mindset of openhandedness. We open our hands as we give, and we will be able to receive even more with those open hands as we receive a de-cluttered space, more time, and less mental fatigue.

https://www.choosefi.com/029-aspiring-minimalist-vs-reluctant-frugalist/

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